BIRDSTAR. Dating advice for women.

> Do you keep dating the wrong man? 
> Do you feel like all the good ones are taken?
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> Are you feeling like you have to compete with 20-year old women?
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Conversation Starters You Can Use Today to Attract His Attention

Single women ask me all the time for tips on conversation starters they can use with an attractive man. I love that they ask this question because it means that women of today are not interested in being the passive wallflower of yesteryear. 

They understand that as we get older, the wait-for-him-to-approach-you method is no longer as effective as it once was in our younger years. Most of us no longer have all the fresh, eye-catching physical attractiveness and energy of youth. Our gifts have now transitioned into more invisible areas: wisdom, inner success, life achievements, happiness, calmness. So, we will often have to do more to now capture his attention. 

So, what exactly are good conversation starters to use with men? In a nutshell, it’s one simple word: “Hi”. In many cases, this single word is sufficient. However, I’m a bit of an overachiever here. So, my suggestion is that you not only learn how to start a conversation with a man by saying “hello”, but you add to it a warm inquiry that invites him to share something personal (vs. just responding with a quick ‘hello’). The fundamental idea is to give each of you a few more seconds of connection. 

Examples of how to start a conversation with a man:

At a party at a friend’s house:
Find an opportune moment to stand right next to him. Then, with an ‘about-to-smile-look’ in your eyes, suddenly say “Did you try one of the margaritas in the kitchen ….mmm, they’re absolutely yummy!” This approach could give him the opportunity to go get a margarita for himself and an easy out if he’s not interested, OR it could result in him inviting you to go with him for another. 

Note: If he is grooving on you and you are feeling bold, hook your arm through his and lure him into the kitchen with you.

In a grocery store:
You suddenly see someone you who appeals to you. “Ack!” you think. “How do I get him to notice me? What are some good conversation starters I could use with him?” Here’s what you do: If you can’t easily capture his eye, give him a quick “hi” and flash him a kind smile. Then pull the damsel in distress routine in a subtle way. Say something like:“You look like someone who might be able to help me. Could I trouble you for your opinion on which cheese to use in a (name a hearty, sumptuous dish) I’m making?”. If he’s married, he’ll tell you what his wife does. You thank him and you both go on your merry ways. If he’s single and interested, he’ll walk over and look over the options with you…even if he doesn’t know a thing about cheeses. Men love to help a woman solve her problem. 

Now, here is the biggest conversation starter tip I want you to keep in mind. You never know where you might run across the man of your dreams. So, while you are waiting for that moment to arise, Practice, Practice, Practice!

When you go to the grocery store this week, challenge yourself to come up with five, clever conversation starters you could use. When you are out at a restaurant or attending a party this week, do the same. Look at your surrounding, notice the vibe, the food, the people in attendance.Identify five things you could talk about. Practice exercising your muscles on how to start a conversation with a man. 

With just a little practice on a regular basis, you’ll be ready to seize the moment with the right conversation starters. 

BONUS: Since this concept is fresh on your mind, quickly write down 5 places you will be this week (e.g. coffee shop, dry cleaner, Allison’s party, Risotto’s restaurant, pet supply store). Brainstorm on five conversation starters you could use in each of these scenarios! Remember, it doesn’t matter if you never use a particular conversation starter. The goal is to simply PRACTICE!
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