Dating Conversation Topics that Matter
“What are appropriate dating conversation topics?”
Its an extremely smart question to ask!
To understand the importance of dating conversation topics, you have to look at your first, second, and third dates as the foundation for your future relationship…if there is to be one. You till the soil. You lay out the rebar. And, then you pour the concrete for the foundation slab. Each step of the way, you want to feel good about the direction in which you may be headed with his person.Here are the areas you (and he) need to cover in your dating conversation topics (your foundation building) on those first few dates:
From the woman’s perspective, she often holds the following questions in her mind:1) Is this guy safe?
(Note: For dating safety, consider running a background check on him. See more about this here.)2) Is he going places with his life?3) Does he make me feel great about myself?4) Is he ready for a commitment?
From the man’s point of view, he will often hold in his mind these questions:1) Is she fun to be with?2) Is she the kind of person who takes great care of herself?3) Does she have her money handled? In other words, is she in a place where she won’t become financially dependent on me?4) Does she have her own social life, so I don’t have to be everything to her?5) Does she lead a good life? (vs. looking for some man to rescue her?)
Knowing what questions are on the minds of the two single people sitting across the table from one another are the EXACT things you need to be discussing on those first few dates.
Dating Conversation Topics YOU Want to Cover:
1) Last Relationship: To find out about him, you can inquire about his last relationship and what broke it up. Ask him what role or contribution he made to the break up. This a subtle way of testing how well he owns his share of relationship breakdowns and may also give you some insight into past relationship dynamics. Be careful not to overly probe here! This direction of questioning should never be intrusive…just open, honest, early information that prospective mates need to know about each other.
2) Free Time: Find out what he does with his free time – e.g. his favorite way to spend a Saturday or a long weekend. This could give you insight into the time he might have available for you and how he uses money to enjoy himself.3) Cool Thing about You: Tell him about at least one, fun, light, and interesting thing about you (something cute or feminine is best…avoid overly quirky, bizarre, or personal at this stage of the game). Gauge what level of interest he takes in you and notice what questions he asks to learn more. At the end of the date, ask yourself how you “felt” in his presence – do you have an ‘invaded’ feeling OR are you absolutely ‘aglow’ with how great he left you feeling about yourself.4) Ready for Commitment: Find out if he is looking to settle, or not with this question set: “How long have you been dating since your last relationship? Are you still enjoying it?” If he indicates that he is still enjoying himself a lot, he’s probably not ready for you. If he indicates a wearing down or distaste for the scene, he may be ready for the transition to a committed relationship.
Now, let’s turn the tables on you. You have to address the questions in his mind. Be prepared to tell him something about you in each of the above mentioned areas. Find ways to build it into the dating conversation. Help him to hear that you have it going on…in a good way, of course (vs. ego and puffery which are never, ever attractive)!
Dating Conversation Topics HE Wants to Know about You:
1) Fun Factor: Practice and maintain a frequent ‘about-to-break-into-a-smile’ look on your face. Save the full smile for a few prime moments. Insert little giggles and laughs where appropriate. If you don’t have an attractive laugh, get one and practice it! Seriously.
2) Self Care: If you go to the gym twice a week, walk 5 miles a day, or eat healthy meals, be sure to drop a line or two about that into the conversation. If you like how your body is looking, satisfy his visual needs by wearing something that tastefully communicates your good physical health.3) Money Handled: If you own your own home, take an international trip once a year, plan to retire early, or make it a regular goal to live simply (and never beyond your means) mention it. Though he won’t ask you about your money, he will be wondering if your health in this area is good.4) Social Life: Make plans with at least one or two friends for the week of your date. Then, mention quickly something about having some fun social activities going on this week.5) Good Life: Work in a few comments that illustrate that you are enjoying your life and doing what it takes to manage the common stresses we all face. Show yourself as a solutions, opportunity-in-every-challenge kind of person versus someone who sinks into the victim, poor-me role with every life hiccup.
Work these dating conversation topics into your first three dates. It will increase the likelihood that the relationship will have a chance to go somewhere.
Dating conversation topics never have to be a challenge, again, if you keep the above in mind. Know the questions you have about him, know what he wants to know about you, weave in small talk about whatever is happening in the environment around you (restaurant, world affairs, local event, etc.) and OUILA! Dating Conversation Topics Magic!